you make me love me
that is bigger - than big
but i love me. i am focused on everything,
on love, on the world, on myself, on the future
and on the past.
i am trying to make things real without understanding them.
i am working on being my true self for once.
i don't care about being weak or fragile.
i don't care about losing all i built, cause i've built it
wrong, and what i'm building now is strong,
and steady.
i know who i am. i don't know why i am.
but it's starting not to matter as much.
i will never know, or maybe when i die,
and living for your death is atrocious in itself,
and atrocious in every other way you can think of.
i don't stop and do enough these days, but that's cause i have no time.
i only have the time to work and be happy.
which is great. but i need to do, too.
i know i will. the feeling of needing it is half there.
i'll do when it's all there.
i don't worry about that. not yet.
it's not as important as the rest.
as the good that keeps coming.
as the air that keeps growing.
i have never felt so free.